BROWSER TURMOIL

Good grief.... decided to take a peep at the blog and have a little wander down memory lane...and it was gone..! Thought to find it maybe covered in fine dust and a cobweb or two - but in fact none of the other accounts were there either. And a blatant notice at the top informed me that my browser wasn't supported anymore. The cheek of it..!

Stupefying - all the old technology fear came rushing back... shiver..!
Sensations of 'they can't do this to me', stirred within the old Geri bosom and the urge to click buttons reawakened with a roar! (Bit like the old dinosaur in my 8th. Post. 'Holes and Dinosaurs'. Heh!).

Anyway, soon discovered that there are loads of browser update options and something called 'Windows Upgrade Advisor', that could advise me about upgrading from Windows XP to Windows 7. However, after being instructed halfway through the process to download something else (?) in order to allow WUA to complete downloading itself (????) it would seem that this old computer is not entirely compatible for the 'jump'!

What to do? Google Chrome kept popping up and insisting it would solve all my woes.....but.
I'm inclined to avoid 'pushy' things. So decided to investigate updating Internet Explorer. No good. It told me to find out how many 'bits' I'm using and how much RAM memory etc., but after searching through My Computer for this golden info', the IE website got deleted and I couldn't remember just how I'd found it in the first place.

Oh well, so in the end Google won. Though not the Chrome. Not entirely. I've now downloaded the Google Frame for I.E. whatever that is - but happily (!) can now access all the old accounts! And there was 'Ageing Ungracefully', resting quietly in a corner and asking: 'Crikey ducky, where on earth have you been these last two years!

I don't think I'm back for good - don't really feel I could give my best yet - but it was lovely to browse through all the old Posts and to re-read all the lovely comments from old blog friends.

So AU, I shall kiss you a fond farewell again for now - and get back to my 'crunches'. No, not 'crunchies' (!) have given up the old chocolate and cake and stuff and am now exercising and trying to get healthy. Have even joined a drawing/painting class to discover other skills and give the Geri hippocampus a boost. Not quite sure how that's going. I forget things.... dipped my paint brush in my coffee the other day - and when the teacher gets to me (she walks around behind us to observe progress and it gives me the shuddering heebiejeebies...ugh) she stops, goes all quiet - and sighs....
Huh!

O.K. good folk, that's it for now. Take care. Cheers!

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Time for AU to go into permanent hibernation.

Was poised to relate the latest holiday 'airport boarding-pass machine fiasco' - but suddenly realised that this latest technological battle story, is hardly any different to those of previous years - and in all probability (unless scientists can re-grow a new brain for me, from a bit of the old one) the world of technology, in all its wonderfulness, will continue to boggle old Geri forever and ever, ad infinitum....

And anyway, have been thinking deeply and seriously about this computer of mine. Don't really even want it anymore.

The 'search' bar is useful of course, for looking up new stuff - but I can't seem to get animated about anything at all lately. On the other hand, it is also useful for in-depth perusal of News items; but am finding the News more and more depressing and the World more and more unhappy and desperate - and I wish I had a magic wand... but, I haven't.

Going from 'online banking transactions', back to the paper/envelope 'rompslomp', will of course be odd at first; but the radical thought of throwing off as many technological chains as possible and roaming free, both literally and figuratively... is making the old Geri heart feel lighter than it has felt in years!

Visions of walking free through dense woods, filled with beautiful birds and large-eyed night animals; or pottering around cave ridden hills, discovering million year old relics; and dabbling tired feet in babbling streams and quiet woodland ponds; and living quietly with maybe a chicken or two in a little hut or one roomed cottage, tucked away somewhere off the beaten track....(sigh..).
Or maybe I'll just stay here in my little, noisy, smelly (petrol fumes in the kitchen seeping in from adjoining storage rooms of flat dwellers above me) town flat - and sort my head out (!)

So good-bye folks.
And many thanks to all those readers who have followed and hopefully enjoyed AU- and particularly to those who have regularly left comments. Your consistent good natured support has been greatly appreciated!!

Take care, one and all.
Geri Atric.
(AKA - Jean xxx).

FOOT ''PRINT'' FOR POSTERITY!

The Blog Dashboard informs me that a total of 82 (intermittent) posts have been published - since May 2008. (This will be 83.....).

And while I know that this is small stuff, compared to you true blogging veterans out there with your 100's - and even 1000's - of postings and millions of words (!) *applause and respect*... it is still a surprise to me to realise the extent of the Geri chuntering and mumbling, since those first tentative steps to set up AU and share a bit of the Geri Attric 'AT' (anti-technological) experience.

Of course not every posting has been about a fight with 'new technology' (... !). But the general theme of confusion with the challenges of everyday life, have been and will in all probability continue to be the connecting thread of AU, for as long as it lasts....

I would like to achieve the milestone of 100 postings. However, a member of my family recently asked me to 'print off' AU and make a 'family heirloom' (?) of it, for the amusement of future family generations...... And so, full of good intention, that is what I have been doing these past couple of days. Printing, printing and more printing and running out of ink and A4 paper and having to nip to the shops for more of both....

Was rather clever though (!) Had the ink cartridge refilled at one of those ink-filling places and saved myself quite a bit of cash. The only real fly in the ointment, was that the printer did not seem to recognise the refilled cartridge (?) and wouldn't stay turned 'on'.

A bit of thumping and repeated readjustment of ink cartridge and paper finally got it working though - and the whole blog is now filed neatly away for posterity in a very large plastic folder !!

Only 82 postings, including all comments..... but still quite an impressive manuscript! They say we all have at least one book inside of us. Perhaps this one is mine(?).

I am content. Hope the 'future family generations' enjoy it!!

And now onwards... *drum roll*... to Post number 84 !!!> > > > > >..........????????

MIND OVER MATTER!

Is it possible do you think, that computer screens can send out invisible, sinister rays, that surreptitiously drain a users memory?

Either that - because since becoming a computer user the old grey cells are definitely in rapid meltdown - or, I have finally become completely paranoid in imagining the computer is 'out to get me'!

This morning was the clincher. After signing in and finding everything gone - and I do mean everything - starting with the 'gorse bushes in Scotland' desktop background (unfathomably replaced with a blue background with Dell written through it) right down to all files in Documents; all contents of Outlook Express Mail; all contents of Favourites; etc., etc.. In fact, the whole computer looked like a freshly bought one, just waiting to be programmed with all my personal details!

Horrified (you know the sinking feeling in the stomach thing..) I clicked on 'browser choice' - a new icon on the desktop menu - that I vaguely remember presented itself a few days ago and refused to be clicked away - and then choosing Google Chrome, started all over again filling in account details etc.....sob!

Didn't understand a single thing I was being asked... (frustrated tears rolling down soggy cheeks - waaahh!) so returned to the strange Dell desktop picture, clicked on Start - and rebooted.

Wondrously - once everything had started up again the original desktop Scottish gorse picture was back (!) and all the old menu icons...... and lo and behold even O.E. mail was back with all files intact; and all files in Documents and Pictures (with priceless family photos) were present and correct......

The only thing is, I am now scared to turn the computer off, in case everything is gone again, either from my head, or the computer (or both) the next time I log in (?)
Is it my mind - or is it really the computer playing tricks....(ponder, mumble...)?

Know what - I think it's time for a spot of comfort food! Made a Shepherds Pie a few days ago and it's always much nicer the second time around, warmed up in the frying pan with all the ingredients mushing together in one big tasty mass - Yum!

Till later then everyone... It is not polite to type with your mouth full - and besides that, the computer might decide it wants a byte! Hee-hee, ha-ha (mad cackling)!!

FOUND!

AHA!!!!!!!!!!!! FOUND THEM!!!!!!! *Happy dance*

This is a follow up to the posting of yesterday and the mystery of the missing Bookmarks.

They were skulking in Notebook - which I never EVER use..? So goodness knows how they got there(?)

Had just re-googled the problem into the Search bar and one of the suggestions I happened across, was to click on Notebook. (Would never have thought of that by myself, in a thousand years. Didn't even know where it was).

Click, click click! Settings/Google Account Settings/Notebook - and lo and behold, there were all my missing URLs! (Come to Mamma!!!)

Still haven't found out where the Bookmark button is hiding itself (?) and it would be much handier to have it back on the Google Toolbar. But never mind, if it is still hidden away after a week, I will borrow my neighbour's (mannetje) 'man'.
This 'man' is another neighbour, whom the first neighbour knows (and I don't) and who being possessed of IT knowledge, will come over and tinker about with your computer and 'retrieve things', for a small honorarium. (I hope that means money!).

Bye for now. Have a nice computer day!

FIDGITY WIDGIT!

What an annoying nuisance (!*#@!!) Google can be - and that's putting it mildly.

It's swiped my 'bookmarks'!

The whole bookmark widget button was there in its entirety on Tuesday morning, which is the last time I logged on before today - and now it's not.

Gone. Stolen. Foetsie! (Slang dutch for.....gone, disappeared, vanished without trace).

So now what? Have been typing all bookmarked blog names and other regularly frequented sites, into the Search bar all morning - and it's been quite a task (bah!).

And so here we are, half a day further and after clicking everything in sight on screen (and off) trying to find and re-install that missing bookmark icon, all I have to show for it is a finger with a nervous tic, which will probably get me into a lot of trouble on public transport - but so far, no 'bookmark icon thingy'.

WAAHHH!

GOOGLE!! What are you doing to me??? Why are you doing it??? And where have you hidden my bookmarks???

ADDLED!

OH...!

So now the 'ads' that miraculously appeared under the posting entitled 'OW!' (when I pressed that seemingly innocuous new dashboard button) and which prompted a new posting - have now disappeared from beneath 'OW!'(?) and nestled themselves snugly beneath 'BUTTON IT!'...?
As I understood it (before pressing the button), new 'ads' would appear on the sidebar and beneath EACH new posting(?)

Which probably means that since I am now in the process of typing out a new posting entitled 'ADDLED!' the 'ads' are now in the process of slowly fading (like the Cheshire Cat's Smile - ref: Alice in Wonderland/Lewis Carroll) from beneath 'BUTTON IT!', to reappear underneath this one...?

*Sigh*...I am in Computer Technology awe. Computer technology is my God. I feel like feeding my computer a carrot.
(I.E., ref. to The Coming Plague/Laurie Garrett - and an incident in which a Brazilian tribe, on seeing their first ever aeroplane (bringing medical Scientists) thought it was a mighty 'God' Bird and rushed out from the surrounding jungle to feed it roots - and don't say you (and me )would not have done the same in their place - because I am betting we would have - for sure! ).

Wait though, I have just had a thought (!) (*rusty grinding noise*)... Since 'ADDLED!' will be posted on the same day as 'BUTTON IT!' the ads will 'think' it's all one-and-the-same - and not move upwards (seems logical), if you get my drift?

Wonder if I am right.....? (finger now moving towards 'publish post')..... bated breath...


(*Groan*.... There must be a better way to spend a cold, wet, slushy Sunday?).


P.S.
HMMPH!! This is an 'edit'. I wasn't right...

BUTTON IT!

Oo goody, what's this? A new blog button ...*press*...... What on earth....?

Hmm.... now that's in-ter-es-ting....

Have just found this (probably not) new (but have only just noticed it, duh) monetize button on the blog Dashboard - and not being able to resist pressing a button....

A host of ads have just appeared under my last posting (???)

Technology at its most instantaneous and wonderously confusing (to me).

Oh crikey - supposing I want to remove them? Where's the button for that?
(More searching)

Not found yet.... Okay, keep searching...
(Preparation: Count down from 100 (brain exercise). Fresh pot of tea and chocolate bar (brain food) broken into manageable pieces and placed within reaching distance; investigative (button pressing - what else did you think?!) finger, at the ready...).

Can't wait to see what ads appear under this post!!! Heh heh.

TECHNO TURMOIL

Hmm... just logged on to read world news - and found 'Windows Defender' industriously downloading 0% of downloads and refusing to allow me to me click it away - as I usually do - to let it get on with its business in private. Have had to sit through umpteen cups of coffee just staring at those little 'yellow shield' and 'fortress' icons, until WD stopped doing what it was not doing and was ready to let me do what I wanted to do!

That's odd..... we now have noise - an insistent beeping, followed by a 'clip-clop, clip-clop'...
There it is again - 'clip-clop, clip-clop'.
Don't think I'm feverish... and haven't overdosed on meds (only coffee). So what can be going on..?

The only explanation I can think of, is that 'Trojan Equine' is loose(!). Now that would be bad! Quarantined that little b***er eons ago. How did he get out?

Perhaps the free Anti-Virus I downloaded almost one year ago (after a mighty fight to dislodge a particularly stubborn paid version of another brand) is losing its grip? Or this might be its unsubtle way of telling me 'one year free is enough already(!)' and to upgrade to one of its paid versions? *Sigh....* why do good things have to end?

There's that beeping noise again....twitch..(me, not the computer).

Oh good grief.... a window is now opening and telling me I haven't done a scan in two days.
DON'T HAVE TO - IT'S SET TO AUTOMATIC, SAME TIME EVERY DAY!!!!! GRRR!

Right, that's it. I'm off to watch the news on telly.
Assuming of course they haven't wiped the last decent news channel off in the night. Haven't got round to buying digital yet and my T.V. provider has cut most of the interesting channels out of 'analogue' or 'standard' or whatever it is that I've got.

Still, I know progress is unavoidable and we have to go with the times. So in just two minutes time, Geri will be progressing to the settee with the coffee pot and two slices of marmite on toast!

Now where did I put that remote........

BLOWING MY STACK!

The computer keeps telling me I’m overloading my ‘stack’..?????

So I looked it up on Wikipedia:

Main article: infinite recursion
The most common cause of stack overflows is excessively deep or infinite recursion. Languages, like Scheme, which implement tail-call optimization allow infinite recursion of a specific sort — tail recursion — to occur without stack overflow. This works because tail-recursion calls do not take up additional stack space.[3]

HUH??????

EERIE DEAD TREES

Been a while since I popped in here... which means I’ve forgotten how to post a photo’(!) Been trying for half an hour…. Hang on.

No, still not working.

All right then, I’ll describe the photograph in question:

‘A WOODED SCENE OF DEAD TREES’.

Looks a bit like the entrance to one of those ‘Dark Forests of Death’ fairy tales, so popular in children’s stories (and guaranteed to instil night terrors and bed-wetting, right up until puberty – and maybe beyond!).

Actually, it is a snapshot I took recently (since Menorca) of the dense and eerily quiet woods, that border my eldest daughter’s and son-in-law’s back garden, in the highlands of Scotland – and with nothing beyond them but the mountains, that reach right up to the North Atlantic coast.
.
But enough of this babbling! That confusing array of image buttons on the blog ‘dashboard’ awaits…and I wish I wasn’t so scared of them! This is ridiculous. Why can’t I remember what they all do? And if I click the wrong one, what is the worst that can happen? Crash the computer? (cynical laughter). Been there, done that! No, but I might lose the photo forever, or maybe accidentally delete the whole blog instead...

Oh what the heck - here goes…!

Hoch aye, it finally worked - and all this writing seems a bit daft now, since the photo is the first thing you see. I thought it was going to appear at the bottom of the post!!!

WINTER SLEEP

Woke briefly from winter hibernation this morning and poked my sleep grizzled head out of the Geri Atric cave… A watery sun struggled through the clouds to briefly touch my tongue. Other folk hold up their finger to test the wind. I stick out my tongue to test the sun. Don’t ask.

Not a soul to be seen, except for a row of seagulls, perched motionlessly on the roof of the building opposite. They eye me hungrily.

I’m feeling peckish too and rummage hopefully through my depleting store of nuts and berries. Hmm, not much left. Spring will have to come soon….

A brief visit to the computer to read online news - and also to see if my blog is still there. Does the Blog Host Company, or whatever it’s called, delete your blog if it is not contributed to regularly (?) Not much to report at the moment but it’s nice to know I have an outlet, for those rare moments of rambling inspiration.

(Almost) cuddled back on the settee now, with the telly droning in the background and eyelids drooping…
Dreams of emigrating to warmer climes. Dreams of eating a mountain of chocolate ice-cream. Dreams of being young and nubile again.

Those ravenous seagulls are gathering under my window – and have been joined by flocks of raucous crows. I throw them stale bread and watch them half kill each other.
I like birds.

I hate winter.

A, E, I, O, U

Fnlly gt th cmpter fxd - nd nw th kybrd's 'n th blnk!

S**m t hv lst th vwls..... Hd thm lst wk, bt tht ws bfr tkng th lttrs 'ff t' cln th d*rn thng...

Frst th m**s* f'll t bts - 'nd ' cldn't pt 't bck tgthr gn. Ws 2 wks wtht hlp, bt hpply, Sn-n-lw fnlly fxd 't... bt nw ths.......

Whr.. r.. my..vwls?!!

TURNCOAT ANTI-VIRUS

The Anti-Virus program on this computer is behaving more like the viruses it is supposed to be protecting me from! Not content with suddenly flashing red warnings every time I try downloading a new website - and then 'stopping the computer till I solve the problem' - it is now chucking me off the web each time I try downloading anything from the ‘favourites’ folder!

The last (and third) time I logged on today, before being unceremoniously turfed out again, I found two thirds of the ‘favourites’ contents removed and a message telling me that if I wish to alter this state of affairs, I should go to ‘Internet Options’…. Not only that but that crazy, mad Anti-Virus is whisking every bit of mail into the spam folder – including the invoice from my Internet Provider and the latest online photos of the Grandkids… grrr..
I can forgive it chucking invoices in the bin - but don’t mess wiv de family!

I appear to have a Trojan horse virus in quarantine but that has always been there (like a stray animal that wanders in and stays) and is low risk – so why is Anti-Virus behaving like this…?
Hmm… I see that the AV subscription is due for renewal next month, so perhaps this is its unsubtle way of reminding me? If so, it is biting its viral nose off to spite it’s invisible face, because all this annoying behaviour is doing, is tempting me to buy a completely new Anti-Virus system altogether. DID YOU HEAR THAT YOU MANIPULATIVE GREMLIN??

On the other hand, I did manage (when Anti-Virus was busy attacking something else in ‘Settings and Network Connections’ and not watching me) to secretly download info’ and read up on how difficult and messy it will be to attempt to remove the thing; entailing all kinds of ‘clean up wizard’ downloads, as well as a Masters in computer programming - because it would appear that AV has wormed its insidious way into every nook and cranny of my comp’ and taken it thoroughly hostage.

Ok, Ok, I give in! I promise to renew you! Are you reading this Most Superiour Anti-Viral being?? Will you now please let me remove myself safely from ‘Word’ and log back onto the Internet long enough to sign into my blog and post this? NO? All right then…grr…I admit it, you are cleverer than me; I am a mere mortal; a nothing; you are the brain…. I grovel before you….
Sob! Please let me back in – and stop chucking me off every time I click on ‘favourites’!! I promise to have no more favourites. You will be my only one. My favourite (choke) Anti-Virus program…forever....

NOW LET ME BACK IN YOU....THING!!!

A TRUE STORY

Once upon a time, an elderly lady decided to start a blog. Every article she wrote was an original, true depiction of an event and/or circumstance relating to her own life and devoid of any kind of malicious intent. Confined often to her house by ill health the elderly lady was pleased to have a new hobby and decided to share her new blog with the world by submitting it to various online mediums to attract more traffic and make online friends.

Everything went well and having successfully submitted her happy little blog to various established and excellent blog directories the elderly lady decided to entrust it once more to a relatively new up and coming venue, of apparent good reputation. The venue was pleased to accept the elderly lady’s blog – they said so in a welcoming email - and both parties were happy. Unfortunately for the elderly lady, not long after she had installed the venue’s widget to her blog, she accidentally deleted it again. Alarmed by this the elderly lady immediately typed the password given to her by the venue, into the ‘members’ section of the venue’s website, to get another widget - but the members section didn’t work. Instead, there was a message saying that the members section was being repaired and would be ready on a date that was already long past (?). Confused the elderly lady then emailed the venue’s ‘support’ forum at an email address supplied in their welcoming email, to ask them what to do. The elderly lady’s email came back as undeliverable and stating that the delivery service had given up trying.

Days later and still unable to login with the password the venue had sent to her the elderly lady decided to request that the venue delete her blog from their website - and sent a polite message to that effect, to the venue’s ‘administration’ and ‘customer service’ email addresses, as set out in their TOA. These emails also came back within 48 hours as undeliverable.

Determined not to give up the elderly lady then discovered a ‘member support forum’ under a different name, on the venue’s site. After being requested to think up and enter another username and password to register for this forum the elderly lady was eventually able to place a question asking why none of the contact emails worked. Her question was answered by a predated general announcement, that due to too much spam all the venue’s contact email accounts were not used anymore. Following the advice given to another member also asking (at an earlier date) how he could remove his blog from the venue's website the elderly lady contacted one of the online administrators in a private email on the forum and asked politely - using words like ‘please’ and ‘with respect’ and ‘at your earliest convenience’, that her blog be removed from the venue. Within 24 hours the elderly lady received a copy of her own polite email back again, with a short one line announcement underneath it saying that her blog had been removed from the venue and not to try submitting it again. (No comment...!)

A couple of days later the elderly lady went online and typed the title name of her blog into her browser to see where it was in two major search engines. Happily the elderly lady’s blog was depicted on page one in both search engines, in no less than three different positions (places). Imagine then her surprise, to see that one of those positions was a ‘black listing’, by the same venue that had tersely agreed to delete her blog - announcing that they had removed the elderly lady’s blog for being an ‘inappropriate blog' and following this announcement with a list of criteria pertaining to what constitutes an inappropriate blog: i.e., junk blogs, ones containing pornographic and racial content, profanity, homophobia, plagiarized material, hacking.. etc…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm..... a big dose of ‘sour grapes’ on the part of the venue? A moot point anyway - because lets face it, if 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating' , then 'the quality of the blog is in its content' - and truth will always out!

MORE WIDGET WOE!

I was messing about in the background and Technorati told me to create this test post to start a ball rolling and release spiders...oo-er..

Technorati Profile
Something is happening...

BE BACK IN A JIFFY...

Oh 'eck, something's gone wrong again. Have just claimed my blog at Technorati and everything went like a dream (which should have warned me!) and then I came to the part that offered me a wonderful new widget, showing rank, photo, links, tag cloud etc., and so I edited and saved my choices and copied the code - and tried to place it in the sidebar with an Add an Element Javascript thingy - but my lovely new widget didn't appear. So I've removed the Javascript sidebar Element I pasted it into - and am now wondering if I am supposed to insert the widget code into the actual HTML template....and if so, where exactly?

Oh lord, off we go again! Looks as though I'll be trawling all of Technorati's FAQ pages, as well as posting SOS's out all over the web for the rest of the day..HELP!..

If there is one thing I've learned though since starting this blog, it is that preparation is nine tenths of success, so I've put the kettle on for a large pot of very strong tanin and am about to nip out and stock up on brain food: i.e., chocolate (!) - what else?! See ya!

DOWNLOAD DANGER!

‘Join a social networking site and be welcomed by hundreds – nay thousands - of likeminded sharing folk, all wanting to link hands around the world with you and line up in droves to visit your website/blog.’ Or words to that effect.

Lovely! Should be easy. Lets see… Click the ‘sign up now’ bar.
Choose a Username: *****
Fill in email: Done.
Think of a password: ***** Confirm password. *****.
Submit.
‘This program can potentially harm your computer’.
Oh…er…shall I go on…? A little wary but all right – carry on.
‘Click to add tags to your toolbar’.
Toolbar? I thought I was going to be presented with a bit of code to copy and paste a cute little button onto my sidebar? Shall I go on? … Might as well - have come this far.
O.K. click on ‘Add Tags’. A box appears with instructions to click ‘Open’.
Computer whines loudly! What’s happening? The screen is now showing my hard disc…(I think) and good lord (!) it wants me to download 70 killer(?)bites of software?
What on earth for? All I want to do is join a little club of happy people and play virtual ‘pat-a-cake-pat-a-cake’ and it’s looking more like Geri’s going to ‘atishoo-atishoo’ and fall down on her virtual arse!
No no no, this is not what I expected.
Click out of this social networking site - and forget it!
Read email instead.
Ten minutes later…what’s this? An email from the social networking site, is beckoning me with subliminal chanting to finish the process of entering their golden portal.
Shall I? Shan’t I? Oh g’waan! Stop being a dithering old mardy cat. Take a chance – walk on the wild side! Pull on the crampons and dig in the axe!
O.K. I click on a blue link in the email.
A box appears. Do I want to ‘Run’ or ‘Save’? Er…Run, I think – but what's this bit underneath? A red shield announcing that this software program has no license?
Oh no, I am not going on. This is too complicated. Perhaps this is a hack site, masquerading as the real one and if I let it in it will spam my computer, molest googlebot, corrupt antivirus and assimilate what’s left of my mind!
Quick! Click on ‘cancel’ and close the site. Go back and delete the email. Go to start/ settings/control panel, to remove the social networking site – if it got that far. Ah good, it didn’t. Seems I stopped it just in time. Phew! So much for social networking clubs!

Perhaps I should try a senior citizen’s blogging forum instead? One with lots of old folks sitting around farting and chewing the fat. Armchair politics. Sex after sixty. The pros and cons of complete body makeovers. Sounds good!
Now lets see… Click into Forum Homepage…choose a Username… and fight off that little computer gremlin called Deja Vu….

MOVE THAT WIDGET!

It has been nagging away at me for days - how to move that misplaced widget or button, or whatever it’s called, out of a posting and onto the sidebar.
It has in fact taken four whole ‘Fiddling About On The Web’ days, to gather enough knowledge to eventually attempt the deed - but oh happiness and joy - I have finally done it!
Actually, I have only managed to ‘Copy’ the button to the sidebar. The original button is still in its very own posting, where I mistakenly pasted it on May 20. I didn’t dare click on ‘Cut’, in case I lost the button’s code somewhere in transaction. Copying it seemed the safest bet. Anyway, for those of you who might be interested (or in the same dilemma) this is how I did it.

Went to blog ‘dashboard’ and clicked on manage: ‘Posts’ section.
Located title of posting with mistakenly placed button; ticked box and clicked on ‘Edit’.
The posting appeared and I then clicked on ‘Edit HTML’ and highlighted the button’s code with my mouse.
I then clicked on ‘Edit’, next to ‘File’ at top of page and then on ‘Copy’.
With the button’s code now safely copied, I then went to the ‘Layout’ section of my blog and clicked on ‘Add a Page Element’ in the right sidebar.
In the ‘Choose a New Page Element’ page that then popped up, I clicked on HTML/JavaScript, which then revealed yet another page/space and it was into the larger body section of this space that I pasted the button code by going to the keyboard and pressing and holding down the ‘Ctrl’ key and pressing once on the ‘v’.
(I couldn’t paste the code out of ‘Edit’ next to ‘File’ at the top of the page, because this was obscured by the new page/space I was working on).
After the button code appeared in the space provided, I pressed ‘Save Changes’.
Then last of all - and with by now very fast racing heart - I clicked on ‘View Blog’ and ‘Voila!’ There was the errant button - nestling in the sidebar, just as pretty as you please!

The original button is still in the posting I mistakenly sent it to - but at least when that particular posting is archived, its clone will be on display as a permanent fixture in the sidebar!
I am so pleased with myself – and this small but personal triumph over computer superiority calls for an extra large mug of hot, blackberry tea and a between-meals slice of…anything sweet I’ve got in my ‘fridge!
There is no doubt about it, ageing ungracefully got its come-uppence today!

WIDGET WITCHERY!

OOPS! Another glitch... I was trying to get the above button into the side of the blog under all the other permanent stuff - and its ended up here...! How on earth do I move it??
It's got to stay on the main page - but when May is over it will be archived along with the rest of the May posts - won't it?
Well, at least I'm running true to my usual befuddled, fumbling, dithering, doddering form...sigh. Old age really sucks!

RETURN OF THE GLITCH GREMLINS!

Oh... stuff! It seems those infernal techno' gremlins, have invaded my life again (!)
The portents are not good. My computer has just asked me twice if I’ve forgotten my password and will not let me log on. So… retype password for the third time, letter for letter, with great concentration: i.e., aided by tip of tongue protruding from side of mouth – and bingo! I’m in! Good old tongue, always there when I need it.
Just for a change, I decide to type my blog URL directly onto the web, to see what it looks like to ‘the world’ so to speak - when up pops the announcement that there is no such blog in existence!
Aagghh…! Instant panic as heart leaps into throat. O.M.G.! ‘They’ have taken it off! I must have transcended some moral code or other. Oh gosh, which one? Why? What have I done?
Good old tongue to the rescue, moistening increasingly dry lips - although I have to practically ‘gag’ it up from the back of my throat, after almost swallowing it in shock! My darting eyes search frantically for the problem – then… ping (!) the old grey mush other people refer to as a brain, finally wakes up properly and tells me I have misspelled the URL address…. A quick retype… and there it is!
Oh the blessed relief! There you are - my new little blog. Kiss kiss! Ouch! Bump my nose on the monitor and it tastes horrible too. Relief does strange things to a person but the adrenalin rush has receded now and here I am typing away, so I think it is probably time for a nice strong, refreshing cup of tea.
Actually, this posting was only intended as a postscript to ‘Cell Phone Cacophony’. I just wanted to say that encouraged by my son, who came over for a visit yesterday, I went out and bought a sleek new cell phone! It is shiny and red and about one third the size of my wallet (!) although just as useless at the moment, because it still needs to be programmed. Hmm. I know this sounds daft - but I have turned aside all offers of help. Past events have shown that when anyone tries to help me with new technological challenges, I get into a flap! The combination of geek jargon and watching someone else’s finger clicking rapidly on menu buttons - passes right over my fuddled white head.
So there's nothing else for it, if these new technologies are going to ‘stick', I have to tackle them myself. Either that, or keep phoning the kids for help and become a dreaded burden! Still, on second thoughts, isn't that what kids are for? No, on third thoughts, I’d better not. They are all talking to me at the moment… and I’d like to keep it that way!
I do have one tried and true aid though. Tea! Pots and pots of it and I think a mild blackberry flavour would go down a treat right now. Also, if I’m not mistaken, there are still a few chocolate bars left in ‘Granny’s Sweetie Jar’. I buy them for my almost three year old grandson, but his mum - very sensibly - wont let him have too many of them. So I help him along a bit. Can’t have the stock going stale!
Still, they do say that eating chocolate releases endorphins in the brain and I am going to need a lot of ‘happy feeling’, before tackling my brand new cell phone! Now if I could just find out which foodstuffs induce PATIENCE…? Any ideas? Tea’s up! Cheers!