Jul 27, 2009


Feeding the ducks in the park yesterday, met a neighbour just back from his holidays. A friendly man and very proud of his idiomatic-type English, which he practices on me – strangely with an ‘American’ accent - whenever he can.

Me: 'Howdy neighbour!'

Him: (Walking stiffly)…'O.K.. Jes got me a new case of the "galloping whatsits…".'

Me: 'Oh dear. That doesn’t sound O.K.. Picked it up on holiday?'

Him: 'Yeah. Makes it difficult to walk properly. A bit sore between the…'

Me: (Interrupting hastily)… 'Oo-er, yes yes, well, perhaps you shouldn’t be out? I mean, I know there are a lot of bushes around here, but perhaps it would be better to stay home, close to the...er.. W.C. You know - bathroom.'

Him: (With a slightly puzzled air)… 'But why would I wanna do that? I allus walk the hound round this time…'

Me: (More puzzled) 'Well, those ‘galloping…er…whatsits’ can come on quite - suddenly.'

Him: 'Awl-a-sudden? Well nay, s'matter-a-fact, took quite a while to tug them critters on!'

Me: (Totally confused). 'Heh???'

Him: (Lifting his T-shirt and pulling at his jeans waistband) 'Looky here…'

Me: (In rising panic) 'What are you doing man.? Get home quick! I’ll finish walking your dog for you!'

Him: 'The label. Look at the label.'

Me: ' "Colt". You’ve bought yourself a new pair of Colt jeans?'

Him: 'Tight sons-a-b****ers.'

Me: (Whinnying). 'NAAAY…toch!' (spelled NEE - Dutch for NO…).

Him: 'Whad'ya think I meant?'

Me: (Quickly) 'Nothing. Have a nice day.'

Him: (Shuffling stiffly off, mumbling in Dutch..) Translation: 'Strange woman. Goin’ a bit ‘potty’...'


Kate said...

Oh Geri - talk about lost in translation.... that was so funny!!
God knows what Spaniards think of me when I'm practicing on them!!!!

I promise to be more careful now!!!! x

Geri Atric said...

Kate ~ Ole! (Could get you into some very interesting situations)!

Chinese/English translations can be rather startling too. Was watching the news on telly last week, concerning British children confined in China with Swine Flu. A translation on a board outside the hospital read:

"Irrelevant people, not to linger."

Kate said...

ha ha - I love it .... I've been called irrelevant before ... or was that irreverent?!!!

Geri Atric said...

Can't imagine you being either of those Kate!

steph said...


Specially when you're suffering from the 'galloping whatsits' like wot I am.

I'm like a hamster on an exercise wheel, walking up and down the unit corridor for exercise.

Keep it comin', Geri

Grannymar said...

Were you in the coffee shop before feeding the ducks Geri? ;)

Great stuff, we want more.

Geri Atric said...

Steph ~ On 'the trot' again aye lass? That's a big bummer. But a good dose of 'Wild Turkey' (my neighbour swears by it) in that thar drip of yours, and you (and the hamster) wont remember any of it!

Grannymar ~ Aha! So you know about our Dutch coffee shops do you..do tell! In fact I do now recall reading on your blog once, that you've been to Amsterdam. They are prevalent there. But I haven't seen one since I moved to my present suburb of The Hague. (Although, sometimes wonder if I left my brain back in one of them, in A'dam - just from the smell alone, passing the door)!

jay said...

Hahahahah!! It's the way you tell 'em! How funny that he speaks English with an American accent!

Tight jeans ... LOL! Sounds as if he'll soon have a case of something else if he walks far in those, and you won't want to hear about that in detail, either!

Geri Atric said...

Hi Jay ~ Don't know what his taste in films is, but I suspect Westerns(!)
No indeed, I wont want to hear! But now you mention it, that might explain why every tree in the park suddenly has an anxious looking lady hiding behind it, whenever he 'swaggers' into view?!