Jul 27, 2009


Feeding the ducks in the park yesterday, met a neighbour just back from his holidays. A friendly man and very proud of his idiomatic-type English, which he practices on me – strangely with an ‘American’ accent - whenever he can.

Me: 'Howdy neighbour!'

Him: (Walking stiffly)…'O.K.. Jes got me a new case of the "galloping whatsits…".'

Me: 'Oh dear. That doesn’t sound O.K.. Picked it up on holiday?'

Him: 'Yeah. Makes it difficult to walk properly. A bit sore between the…'

Me: (Interrupting hastily)… 'Oo-er, yes yes, well, perhaps you shouldn’t be out? I mean, I know there are a lot of bushes around here, but perhaps it would be better to stay home, close to the...er.. W.C. You know - bathroom.'

Him: (With a slightly puzzled air)… 'But why would I wanna do that? I allus walk the hound round this time…'

Me: (More puzzled) 'Well, those ‘galloping…er…whatsits’ can come on quite - suddenly.'

Him: 'Awl-a-sudden? Well nay, s'matter-a-fact, took quite a while to tug them critters on!'

Me: (Totally confused). 'Heh???'

Him: (Lifting his T-shirt and pulling at his jeans waistband) 'Looky here…'

Me: (In rising panic) 'What are you doing man.? Get home quick! I’ll finish walking your dog for you!'

Him: 'The label. Look at the label.'

Me: ' "Colt". You’ve bought yourself a new pair of Colt jeans?'

Him: 'Tight sons-a-b****ers.'

Me: (Whinnying). 'NAAAY…toch!' (spelled NEE - Dutch for NO…).

Him: 'Whad'ya think I meant?'

Me: (Quickly) 'Nothing. Have a nice day.'

Him: (Shuffling stiffly off, mumbling in Dutch..) Translation: 'Strange woman. Goin’ a bit ‘potty’...'

Jul 25, 2009


The computer keeps telling me I’m overloading my ‘stack’..?????

So I looked it up on Wikipedia:

Main article: infinite recursion
The most common cause of stack overflows is excessively deep or infinite recursion. Languages, like Scheme, which implement tail-call optimization allow infinite recursion of a specific sort — tail recursion — to occur without stack overflow. This works because tail-recursion calls do not take up additional stack space.[3]


Jul 19, 2009


The world is overfull. Everyone seems to be in agreement with that. So I have decided to do my own bit for humanity and not visit that Italian IVF doctor famous for inpregnating (barmy)geriatric women.

Ideas on solving the problem of over population:

Good way? - Bad way?

I guess it's a matter of opinion.

I don't usually get political on the blog. But it's Sunday and it's raining - and I've finished all my chocolate. Bah, humbug!

Humbugs. Haven't got any of those either - in fact, do they still make them? You know, those black and white striped, odd shaped sweets? Or has the British government banned them as Racially/Politically Incorrect? I usually stock up on British sweeties (not available in The Neths.), when I visit family.

Perhaps 'the powers that be' will ban me after this. Or on the other hand, maybe some rich nutter will read this and leave me all his/her money...
Ha-ha! But wait a minute - If that happened I'd probably get roped into 'saving the world'.

B***cks to that. Just leave me to my rainy Sunday and my rapidly wearing off 'sugar high'...

Ouch... got a headache now.

Jul 9, 2009


"We climbed a big high mountain on a fair and sunny day and when we got to the top, went down the other side and had tea in a walled garden in Applecross".
And very nice it was too!

Jul 8, 2009


Lost in the eerie, dead woods.


Been a while since I popped in here... which means I’ve forgotten how to post a photo’(!) Been trying for half an hour…. Hang on.

No, still not working.

All right then, I’ll describe the photograph in question:


Looks a bit like the entrance to one of those ‘Dark Forests of Death’ fairy tales, so popular in children’s stories (and guaranteed to instil night terrors and bed-wetting, right up until puberty – and maybe beyond!).

Actually, it is a snapshot I took recently (since Menorca) of the dense and eerily quiet woods, that border my eldest daughter’s and son-in-law’s back garden, in the highlands of Scotland – and with nothing beyond them but the mountains, that reach right up to the North Atlantic coast.
But enough of this babbling! That confusing array of image buttons on the blog ‘dashboard’ awaits…and I wish I wasn’t so scared of them! This is ridiculous. Why can’t I remember what they all do? And if I click the wrong one, what is the worst that can happen? Crash the computer? (cynical laughter). Been there, done that! No, but I might lose the photo forever, or maybe accidentally delete the whole blog instead...

Oh what the heck - here goes…!

Hoch aye, it finally worked - and all this writing seems a bit daft now, since the photo is the first thing you see. I thought it was going to appear at the bottom of the post!!!