Have come to the conclusion that old Geri has Royal linage.
Well just look at the facts.
1. There was once a Princess who developed large bruises from a pea hidden under a pile of mattresses. Right? Well biscuit crumbs between the sheets irritate the sensitive Geri skin alarmingly - and crumbs are much smaller than peas!
One point to me.
2. There was once another Princess who pricked her finger on a spinning wheel and fell asleep for one hundred years, until the kiss from a Prince woke her up Right? Well I don't even need to prick my finger to suddenly wake up and realise that I didn't even know I had fallen asleep in the first place! Now that's clever - and it happens at least half a dozen times a day and I don't even need a Prince to kiss me awake!
Two points to me.
3. Talking of Princes, it is my understanding that olden day Princesess did a lot of amphibian snogging, in their attempts to find a husband.
Well strangely enough, I was put in mind of this curious fact a couple of days ago whilst crossing a quiet, leafy road near the park. Was just lifting my foot to step over what looked like a lump of blackish dog poo, when the poo suddenly leapt forward about a foot and almost gave me heart failure...!
Turns out the 'poo' was a frog which I assumed was looking for a Princess to give it a kiss. So cupping my hands, I picked the poor thing up and - *drum roll* -returned it to the edge of the park pond. Ha! Not that it wasn't a nice looking frog or anything - well actually it wasn't - but I didn't want to chance removing its enchantment and turning it back into a handsome toyboy...er.... Prince....I mean Prince!....*sigh*.... Am just too set in the old Geri ways to start sharing my abode with a man again.....even one wearing a crown and tights... Hmm....tights...let me think about that a bit more.....(!)
Anyway, in the meantime, I guess that loses me point three.
Oh well, 2 out of 3 is fair going. So whilst probably not a true-blue Princess or Queen of anybody's heart.... There might just be a bit of the 'Right Honourable' in there...(can women be Honorables?). After all, I did do the honourable thing and return the frog to its natural home... Well 'natural' while it is still in frog form. Don't know where it lived when it was a Prince, before its wicked stepmother enchanted it.... and then asked the mirror on the wall if she was still beautiful, before...yawn... dispatching 7 dwarves down a ravine and.....zzz...having herself imprinted onto a playing card and changing a baby into a pig and chasing.....zzzzz.......Alice up a rabbit hole....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz back through the very same 'looking glass' she was just chatting to !
What on earth am I talking about? This is scary, even for moi. Oh lor', now I'm starting to speak French - must be all those frog's legs (in tights, no less!). Heh!
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An ageing lady's confused and humorous battle for survival in a perplexing, ever changing, technological world.
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12 comments:
Geri, Your frogitis sounds serious! I suggest you take a nap!
Grannymar ~ Haha! Will do!
Actually I've just woken up - I think...
Geri
Now I'm worried you might have sleep apnoea!
Do you really fall asleep up to 6 times a day? If so, it would wise to get yourself checked out at a sleep disorder clinic.
http://www.isat.ie/isat_faqs.htm
As regards your frog...
maybe he wanted to cross the road???
Steph ~ Appreciate the concern. Thank you. It is annoying to keep 'dropping off', but at least it brings temporary relief from the headaches(!) Probably though, these impromptu daytime naps are the result of constant tiredness due to a combination of having to get up more than once during the night to 'spend a penny' and waking up coughing (have a chronic cough) and needing to blow the old nose. Sinuses and lungs are very infected at the moment, due to the high pollen count. But if it doesn't improve soon, I will indeed go to the doc. Maybe there is something new in his 'arsenal' that won't result in me having to rush back for cortisone/saline and antihistamine jabs!!!!
Oh dear (waves of guilt!), yes the little frog was crossing over with great determination. I expect it was a case of 'froggie would a wooing go'(?) and he got chased away from the lilly pond by a rival... Hopefully he has since found another sweetheart!
Oh, Geri
I'm so sorry to hear you're battling with inflamed/infected sinuses and lungs. I know well just how draining that can be.
I wonder if a course of physiotherapy treatment would help to clear your lungs? Having infected sinuses draining into your chest, is not exactly helping your poor lungs either.
I'm prescribing a holiday in the sun for you, to help dry-out your inflamed airways...
Take two weeks in the sun with plenty of water/wine and repeat as necessary.
By order
Doc Steph
Dr. Steph ~ LOL! Thanks for the prescription, I will take your advice.
Am going away for one week in July to a bungalow park in the Dutch 'platteland' (flatland; i.e., countryside) and another in August to the Scottish highlands - away from all the city fumes and smells; and this will certainly help a lot - mentally as well. (This affliction does get me down a bit from time to time!).
I do practice physio on myself, by coughing and 'shaking' the lower chest wall - both sides in turn - with my hands; and it does eventually work. They (physiotherapists) used to thump and slap, but shaking works better.
Alas, the old sinuses must heal themselves - less pollen in the air would help (!). Have had every nose treatment on offer, from some very nasty nose drops and ampules to a couple of operations - Caldwell Luc (left sinus) as a teenager and the septum straightened, 12 years ago (didn't work). Left sinus has grown closed with cartilage or something and needs another op; but I pass.....!
I use a nasal douche with salt solution (seen on the Oprah Winfrey show) and that helps better than the drops/ampules.
Told the ENT specialist and he was all for it. Apparently not everyone can use those douches - and it does sometimes sting a bit - but there is a lot of relief, if only temporary, at the end of it.
Hope you are feeling a lot better yourself now Steph (?). Is Wimbledon helping?
I'm a footie fan myself. Watched England get roundly beaten by Germany yesterday, but Holland is playing today, so I'll be vuvuzeling with the best of them! Not really - those things are a nightmare and every kid in the neighbourhood seems to have one!
Mind you, those things might provide good lung exercise (?!)
Good to hear you've developed your own form of physiotherapy.
Yeah, patients know best!
I, too had a left Caldwell Luc (in 1988) which failed horribly, firstly with a massive internal haemorrhage post-op and now the maxillary sinus on that side is totally ossified causing numbness of my upper teeth and threatening the optic nerve. The strange thing is though that it's never caused me problems since.
Every time I have a CT scan, the docs freak out about the state of that maxillary sinus and I always have to tell them to "leave well alone". I've enough problems without them creating more!
I, too wash-out my sinuses daily (when things are bad) with a saline solution and it just becomes part of my daily routine, like washing teeth etc. I always make sure to do it when I'm in hospital as it helps to protect against MRSA getting a grip in the nose.
I was recommended to use Neilmed...
http://www.neilmed.com/ire/index.php
I'm feeling much better this week, thanks.
Happy hols to you and I hope the weeks away will do you the power of good!
Steph ~ Strange isn't it, how when battling chronic ailments practically your whole life long, your relationship with specialists changes over the years, from vertical (with them at the top) to horizontal - and then back to vertical (but now with yourself often at the top). LOL!!
Glad to hear you are feeling better this week.
Looks like the 'bung' might be starting to take effect....(?)
Take care.
"Hmm....tights...let me think about that a bit more.....(!)"
Hahaha! Attagirl, Geri! ;)
So, according to your reasoning, I would be a princess too! The toyboy sounds fun ... but yeah, I think I'd pass too - unless I could guarantee that the frog would turn into Johnny Depp. THEN I'd kiss it! LOL!
Sorry to read about all those problems you've had and are having. Funny you should talk about falling asleep, because this morning I woke at half-past eight, went to sit on the couch with a cuppa, and found myself so deadly tired that I started to fall asleep again.
Jay ~ LOL! You are definately Royal. looking at the way you pamper young Sid, you can't help but be Queen of his heart.
With regard to snogging Johnny, considering that you have even called your blog after him, I reckon you should be first in the kissing queue - but save a bit for the rest of us!!
Sorry to hear you are so tired lately. Can't help thinking now of that little 'episode' you had in the shower a while back.. Maybe a trip to the doc is in order, just to be sure?
Take care of yourself Jay and keep out of the mid-day sun! No, really. I'm being serious. And drink plenty of water. That's a Royal command.....(!)
Hahahahaha! Love it! Especially that last little rambling bit. LOL!
I'm with you on the pea/biscuit crumbs and the falling asleep thing. Kissing a frog to reveal a prince in tights? Mmmm. Well, if you could guarantee it would be Johnny, I'd do it!
Jay ~ Glad you enjoyed it!
Wonder which fairystory writer introduced the 'kissing frogs and turning them into princes' idea(?) Wonder why he chose a frog and not some other creature? I mean, well, a frog hasn't even got any lips for goodness sake!!
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